Two of my close friends just moved in together and somehow it makes me incredibly sad.
Not because I'm not happy for them, It just feels like they have it figured out while I'm stuck.
Stuck in not knowing what to do, where to go and where to live. I try to tell myself that I'm younger than them, and that i have time
but I can't help to have a nervous crying, screaming, breakdown over it every once in a while.
Anyways.. I felt sad so I drew this in my sketchbook on the day my friends moved into their new apartment.
Even thoughe I don't really have a childhood home it feels like I've lost my childhood.
That's it rant over
I'm so incredibly scared of the future, and I'm tired of pretending I'm not.
I'm currently living with my mom, which i really enjoy because it actually feels like were living together instead of just me living with her, if that makes sense. Well that's all about to change. I am graduating in a month, which means we're not gonna be able to keep the apartment if i don't get a job. The City where we live doesn't really have any good jobs for young people and literally everyone I know my age is unemployed and desperate. And yeah.. I could probably work in a grocery store or something, but the thought of having to work some shitty job in the summer holdiays makes me literally wanna throw up. My mom feels really shitty about me being "forced" to move out and not having the resources to help me in any way. I try to reassure her that it's fine .. and it's no like I don't want to move out. But somehow it feels like I'm lying to her and myself.
The thing is I don't know what the hell i want to do with myself after i graduate. I never thought it make it this far and haven't really made any plans with what i want to do, or the ones I've made didn't work out. I could start University but I don't know what i want to study. I could get a job but I don't know what to work or what I would use the money for lol (besides paying for an apartment)
